Every time I open this wannabe Facebook app, I can’t help but think: Is it a requirement to be obnoxious to fit in on LinkedIn?

Well, Vogue has recently written an article called “Is it Embarrassing to Have a Boyfriend?” And to this, I have only one thing to say: who cares? Let’s talk about something that actually matters, yeah?

The godforsaken, evil-filled, money-hungry, sales-desperate app called LinkedIn.

Vogue Vs My LinkedIn Notifications

To answer Vogue’s question, I don’t see how it can be embarrassing to have a boyfriend. But I can definitely see how embarrassing it is to be popular on LinkedIn. Even worse: posting on it nearly every day, treating it like a blog, in which (I’m going to hold your hand while I say this) no one actually cares about what your home life taught you that you can now apply in business.

There’s a reason why I keep my notifications off when it comes to LinkedIn. Every time I get baited into opening this app, I can’t help but think. Why is it such a struggle for people on it to be normal and real? It’s all this corporate nonsense, with a sprinkle of self-flattery and pompousness. What’s worse, I somehow managed to get nearly 700 followers on this app, with just occasional article postings. Talk about embarrassing.

Now, you might be wondering, why don’t I just delete it, or uninstall it. You would not be the only one wondering this. Sadly, in this day and age, if you don’t have LinkedIn, you’re closing yourself off to nearly half of the job offerings. So, here I am, stuck with it for the foreseeable future.

The Final Boss of LinkedIn

Every time I open the app, it’s like I go in with gritted teeth. I go in, post my little articles, close it, and that takes around 30 seconds. 30 seconds too long, if you ask me. But this does make me wonder: who can bear to spend more time than that on LinkedIn?

What kind of person do you actually need to be to enjoy this app? I imagine it’s someone who is middle-aged, someone who possesses a “grinder” mindset, someone who thinks 12-hour workdays in Greece are a good way to increase productivity and grow the economy (no matter the cost!), someone who spends Friday nights working unpaid overtime (and enjoys it!), someone who offers to come in on a Saturday, and someone who can only talk about work in any social setting whatsoever.

The final boss of LinkedIn is a sad case – a sad story. It’s not something to aspire to, it’s not something you should look up to, and it’s not something you should chase. There’s more to life than that, for God’s sake.

So, is it a requirement to be obnoxious to fit in on LinkedIn?

Absolutely, 100% yes.

And if you find yourself feeling like Robert Downey Jr. when he visited Wall Street in 1992, just know: it’s good to be the odd one out in an obnoxious, money-hungry, low-IQ, high-energy, jackrabbit-wannabe, bigtime-smalltime, sh*t-talking, bothersome, irritating group of people.

But hey – happy “I’m thrilled to announce…” posting!