Author Emmy Hart on her new book and why dating your friend’s ex might be the best way to find new love…
In today’s world of online dating, most people have a horror story or two about terrible first date experiences. The date who looked nothing like their profile picture, the one who seemed hilarious online but apparently lost their personality on the way to meet in real life for the first time, the serial dater, the one who clearly just wanted to get laid…
Modern dating should make it easier than ever to find love, yet the sheer volume of apps, the endless browsing, the deciphering of curated profiles, the repetitive text conversations and those first, often sub-standard first dates are responsible for a notable rise in dating app burnout in 2026. With more single people leaving apps and choosing to walk away from the addictive browsing and disappointing experiences, the question for those still wanting to pursue romantic connections is often, what next?
Finding romance without the apps…
Despite a reduction in numbers, around 4.9 million people in the UK are still choosing to find love through dating apps. Where to meet new people, and how to experience those butterfly-in-stomach moments when you find someone with potential can prove challenging without the help of the algorithms. Stepping away from online dating might increasingly be a healthy choice, but how do you try to find romance without apps?
In my novel, The Best Ex of My Life, this is the question best friends Lizzie, Teddy and Karina face after Lizzie endures yet another awful first date with an online match and declares she can’t do it any longer. The solution she comes up with? Instead of meeting more new men, the friends will go back through their respective dating histories and each select their best ex – the one who wasn’t right for them but could be perfect for someone else – to set up with each other.
What is a no-pressure experiment to counteract swiping exhaustion soon becomes a legitimate plan. In truth, it was one I began to write with the aim of creating a set up that would ensure plenty of drama, comedy and cringe moments before the happy endings arrived, but the weird thing was, the more I spoke about it, and the more I wrote about it, the more I realised this was an idea that could really work.
What do people actually think about dating your friend’s ex?
The most amazing thing? Other people agreed with me. Instead of saying ‘yeah, right’, a lot of people said, ‘why not?’ As well as those horrible first date anecdotes, friends I spoke with could also bring to mind a ‘good’ ex, someone they spoke positively about and would – in theory – be happy for a friend to date.
Dating exes is something celebrities have been doing for years. From Taylor Swift and Gigi Hadid both dating Joe Jonas to Courteney Cox and Jennifer Anniston having exes in common, Hollywood seems to have worked out that dating a friend’s ex is absolutely acceptable.
Going on a date knowing the person sitting opposite you has passed the friend check and has been vetted by someone close to you ensures a level of trust and excitement that is often not present when meeting a stranger from an app for the first time. Yes, there might be the odd awkward conversation and a few extra hurdles to navigate like the first time you are all in the same room together, but friends using each other’s dating history to find new connections could also be a safe, exciting and potentially much more promising way to find someone who is a true match.
The Best Ex of My Life by Emmy Hart is available on harpercollins.co.uk