Kody, an experienced therapist, talks about his company Curated Family Therapeutics and helping autistic children, their parents and teachers
“I have an autistic daughter who’s non-verbal, and just because she doesn’t communicate in a way that’s considered ‘normal’ people assume she’s stupid.”
Immediately, my thoughts jump to my interview with Martin about autism awareness. I remember how he expressed his wish for people to move from autism awareness to autism acceptance and this massive, dark cloud of disappointment overtakes me.
The truth is, as much as I’d like to assume that the world is educated enough about ASD and that maybe, just maybe, we’re ready to move forward and focus on better integrating neurodiverse people into society, there are still so many misconceptions flying around.
That quote is from a conversation I had with my driving instructor about his five-year-old daughter and the challenges she is already encountering in the world around her. Only this time instead of focusing directly on my sympathy towards his daughter, I could clearly see the frustration and disappointment behind her dad’s eyes.
Introducing Kody
Being a parent, a sibling, or a teacher to neurodiverse individuals is a topic that is often overlooked and yet so important. Being the support system in a world that is not quite there yet with acceptance is tough and it makes me wonder, who supports those, who spend their lives supporting others? Who offers a hand of guidance in times of desperation and darkness, in times when it seems like there’s no hope?
Curated Family Therapeutics is a company based in Los Angeles, whose mission is to support neurodiverse families with daily skills and effective action plans that empower and use neurodiversity to maximise the individual’s potential.
Kody Harms, besides being a neuro-affirming therapist and an educator, is also a co-founder of the company who works tirelessly to be that support system to neurodiverse individuals, their families, and teachers.
Q: You have a background in teaching, therapy, special education, and more. What pushed you to decide to combine all of these and start a business?
K: I am a third-generation educator, so I’ve worked in education quite a bit and after working with a population of neurodiversity, I saw that, unfortunately, it’s a really underserved population, really misunderstood.
So, when I was in the classroom, or one-to-one setting, I could tell that there was this gap that no one talked about. So, I decided to combine all three of my passions, being an educator, a therapist, and wanting to help people into one, and tailor this individualised one-to-one curriculum to start Curated Family Therapeutics.
I started it with my business partner, we both own 50% and he’s also a professor, so we both have a good background in education. But we also had some third-party help, a friend of ours, who showed us the ropes in starting a business. She still helps us to this day, and I think it’s good to have someone there who’s done the business world before and can share her knowledge and experience.
Q: What was the beginning of CFT like? Were there any challenges along the way and if so, how did you overcome them?
K: The therapy part was fairly smooth sailing. I’ve been a therapist for a really long time. It was all the other hats that you have to wear when you’re owning a business. A lot of it is just throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks and just keeping going, one foot in front of the other regardless of the result.
One thing I really pride myself on is I never say no to any meetings. Whether it’s a client, whether it’s somebody who has a question about neurodiversity, whether it’s somebody that I can collaborate with in terms of referrals. I’m always open to having a conversation and this also provided some good business opportunities.
One of the challenges was, there were some really wonderful opportunities to work on a larger scale. And I just wasn’t ready. They didn’t buy because I wasn’t ready to sell what I needed to sell if that makes sense.
It was really humbling at the time and it was hard at the same time, because it was such a great opportunity especially when you’re starting a business, the income is really important, you know?
But at the end of the day, this really shaped the future of the business and defined who I wanted to be and what I wanted CFT to be.
Q: You’ve mentioned you have a business partner. What’s the division of responsibilities between you two?
K: I take care of some of the business aspects, one-to-one sessions, and adult clients, and Charles heads up our educational collaboration and school contracts. So again, he’s a professor and he teaches a combination of therapy and special education, or therapy and educators in general. He’s also working with future teachers to incorporate some more of the therapy ideas into their work.
I do a lot of that myself too, but it’s more big picture and business stuff and then one-to-one clients, whereas he’s really ‘boots to the ground’, working with these teachers in the classroom to make sure that they have the support and knowledge how to work with neurodiverse individuals in the most successful way.
Q: How has your journey journey evolved over the last 15 years in the field of education and therapy?
K: 15 years ago, I was extremely young. In terms of the population that I work with, there was such a lack of information, understanding, and acceptance of these individuals. That culture of neurodiversity didn’t really exist.
So I’ve just continually learned and I feel proud of being a part of that evolution. But still, to this day, I’m learning along the way and figuring out how to adapt my therapy style, the way I support teachers and parents, and the way I talk about what I do.
The concept of neurodiversity is ever-evolving as we know more, and people are sharing more. This growth is continuing to shape my practice and I’m really proud of it and excited for the years to come.
Kody Harms
Q: What are the main goals and values that drive your company?
K: Goal number one is to support as many people as I can within this community. There’s this saying, ‘What you give in, you get back’ and when it comes to educators, you learn as much as you teach. There’s a similar mindset in therapy as well.
So, as a company our main goal is to help others, whether you have a question about neurodiversity, whether you need help finding a different therapist, whether you’re a neurodivergent teen or adult, struggling with mental health, whether you’re a parent of a neurodiverse child or administrator or teacher, we’re here to help.
Q: From your experience, is there a lot of demand for training sessions in schools, businesses, career centres, etc.?
K: The demand for schools is high because here in the US, there’s an extremely large teacher shortage and it is the lowest number of incoming education majors in four-year universities in the United States.
And teachers are notoriously overworked and underappreciated. But in particular now, the demand for these training sessions is so high and the burnout is high as well.
We also have a higher number of students who are neurodiverse and it takes knowledge and a certain skill set, that you didn’t necessarily get as a teacher in your undergrad. So the demand is high. The willingness and the understanding of why it’s important is not always meeting the need, if that makes sense.
A lot of these schools sometimes are looking for a quick fix, asking for one day’s, or one week’s training, which is good and there is some impact to that but the real significant difference comes from training sessions that are more regular than one-offs.
Q: What are your estimated prices for these services and what options do you offer for low-income individuals?
K: So, the average hourly rate for therapists in Los Angeles is $125-150. We’re staying towards the average and it’s a two-way street because not everyone can afford that but at the same time, we’re very qualified and proud of our services.
We do work with insurance companies. We take Medicaid insurance, which is generally for families of lower income. And we also try to keep a handful of clients that maybe don’t have the appropriate insurance. We don’t work with their insurance company, but we give a private pay rate that works for them. And that’s appropriate.
The people that I love supporting within that realm are teachers but they are very underpaid. Because of that, they’re not going to be able to afford a $150 session. Again, I try to keep one or two, sometimes pro bono, clients for free. But I also try to keep a few sessions where it’s more of an affordable rate if we can’t go with insurance.
Q: CFT is known to incorporate Acceptance and Commitment Therapy into the sessions, could you elaborate on how these specifically benefit neurodiverse individuals?
K: Acceptance and commitment therapies are value-driven, they’re customised to each individual. Much of the history of neurodiverse therapy is about supporting individuals based on a neurotypical measurement. In my therapy, we are only comparing the client to themselves and who they desire to be.
Another big principle is accepting that life is hard, life is challenging. But if you can stay consistent with habits towards your values, then you can live the best version of yourself.
The way we encompass this is each week we’ll take a mental health score with our clients, so anywhere from 1 to 10, 1 being ‘I want to go up on life’; 5 being ‘I’m not great, but I’m not bad’; and 10 being ‘I’m living the best life ever’.
I’m never expecting my clients to be 10 out of 10 every day, because that’s not realistic in life. But what I am looking for is, hopefully, if you stay consistent with working towards your values and these strong habits, that even when you get a flat tire and it’s raining and your dog is sick and work is overwhelming, you’re still feeling like a 6 or a 7, even though you had one of those days that maybe in the past really would have defeated you.
But now because you’ve been consistent with all these things that are important to you in life, you’re able to make a previously 3 day into a 7 day, or make a previously 6 day into a 10 day. It’s all about having these clear goals in life.
Q: How do you approach customising therapy sessions for neurodiverse clients, considering their unique needs and preferences?
K: It’s a good question because the spectrum is so vast. I’m really proud because with the therapy I practice, some of my clients that are autistic, they’ve got kids, they’ve got big corporate jobs, things that society deems as successful.
Other clients may need a conservator and they’re still living with their parents because the letter of the law says that they can’t independently live by themselves. And I’m really proud of being able to adapt the strategies and this therapy style to both populations and everything in the middle.
The way I do that, again, it’s a lot of what are your values, what’s important to you. A lot of times it’s assessment. But all of my sessions include me checking in regularly. It’s a lot of trying, and seeing what works, asking questions, such as: ‘Hey, did you like that?/did you not like that?’
I’ve got clients with whom we have an hour-long session and they need to take a five-minute break. That’s fine, I’m good with that as long as we’re working towards their individual goals.
Q: Do you feel as if, we as a society, have already raised awareness of neurodiverse individuals and are now at a stage where we should progress more with acceptance and better integration into workplaces and educational institutions, etc.?
K: We do need to move along, do I feel like we’re ready? Yes and no. It’s still an intensely underserved population. The measurement of lack of awareness doesn’t necessarily relate to unemployment, although unemployment is very high. It’s more so about the lack of research on the diversity within the spectrum such as, why are women diagnosed at a lower rate, neurodiversity as a cultural movement, queerness and neurodiversity, generational neurodiversity, mental health, and neurodiversity… the list is endless.
The fact is that last year 1-38 children were diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, yet in 2000 that number was 1-150 leaving a lot of unanswered questions. We didn’t just all of a sudden have more autistic humans over a 24-year period, which leaves a lot on the table in terms of what we have to learn about neurodiversity and all the nuances of it within society.
That’s the big reason I work with schools. Education is the most important institution in society because it directly impacts what society of the future will look like.
If we can get into celebrating one another regardless of diagnosis, this will a have significant impact, as these will be the same kids that hire one another when they’re older.
Kody Harms
Q: Do you feel that neurodiverse individuals are better off attending educational institutions tailored to their needs, or is it better for them to attend public schools?
K: This is one of the most complex questions and issues. Number one challenge is that here in the United States homeschooling is a choice that is generally made by parents because no child at that age, regardless of diagnosis, has the perspective to identify what they really need.
As an educator myself, I think that your home does not necessarily reflect the society the child is going to live in when they’re older. Homeschooling is so challenging for parents, having that education, time, and investment, it’s hard. However, I do think it should be an option.
In terms of special education and segmenting the population, when done right, I think it could be really impactful but then again, I’m always thinking that education is the future of society, so if you segment a population and you cater the education to their needs, there needs to be a plan to integrate them into whatever culture that they’re going to be a part of.
At the same time, we need the primary classroom to be more educated and develop a more inclusive culture. I’m a big advocate for sparing no expense in the education system. It’s the most important investment you can make and this is a really great example of that.
We should be funding these schools and these teachers to provide endless opportunities. There shouldn’t be a question of whether the student belongs or fits into the school, it should be, what resources can we put into the school to make sure the students have success.
Q: Having started CFT in 2021, what has been your proudest moment so far?
K: I think sometimes it’s so easy to forget all the small moments in the business journey that mean so much. So for me, every time a client makes a breakthrough, every time a client has a successful day or week, that’s my proudest moment. Because that’s what CFT is all about.
Sometimes it’s an active effort for me to remind myself to not take these small stepping stones for granted and it does happen quite frequently when my clients are having successful days, so I always try to make sure it’s on the forefront of my mind.
Q: How do you maintain a steady incline in your professional life and what are your aspirations when it comes to setting yourself new, bigger goals in life?
K: I think besides inspiring acceptance and awareness of neurodiversity, I’m striving to celebrate it and hope I can make a small impact that shifts the mindset of the world.
In terms of motivation to set bigger goals, I practice what I preach, so every day I have this never-ending list of things that I can do to to be better. I value love, getting it and receiving it and it’s what keeps me motivated.